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Valentine's day - red bra and perfume bottle and white flower against a peach backdrop

Join the Debate: Receiving Lingerie for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a time for expressions of love, but the topic of lingerie as a gift is controversial. Some view it as a thoughtful and intimate gesture, while others believe it reinforces patriarchal ideas. In this blog post, we'll explore both sides of the argument and we'd love to get your thoughts on the subject.

Valentine's Day Bra

The Sweetest Gesture: The Romance of Receiving Lingerie on Valentine's Day

Receiving lingerie as a gift can be seen as a romantic and intimate gesture. It shows the giver has put thought and effort into the gift and wants to make the recipient feel special. For many, lingerie can be a confidence boost and a way to feel sexy and desired.

Many social media influencers can be seen promoting the body confidence and empowerment message that can be felt in 'sexy lingerie'. Celebrating all body shapes and sizes whilst cherishing their sexuality.

It can be an incredibly liberating feeling, especially in a world where it's often expected for women to be conservative and demure. It can also be seen as a form of self-care.

Additionally, receiving lingerie as a gift can be a way to bring intimacy and playfulness into a relationship. It can be a way to spice things up in the bedroom and create a more playful and intimate atmosphere. This can help to deepen the emotional connection between partners and bring a new level of excitement and passion to the relationship.

Breaking Down the Patriarchy: The Harmful Stereotypes of Receiving Lingerie on Valentine's Day

On the other hand, some believe that lingerie reinforces patriarchal ideas and reinforces harmful stereotypes. These ideas suggest that women should prioritize their partners' desires over their own and be sexually desirable for their partners.

Receiving lingerie as a gift on Valentine's Day can be seen by many as anti-feminist and objectifying. Perpetuating the idea that your partner's desires should be priorities over your own.

Lingerie is often marketed towards heterosexual men, with images of women in sexually suggestive poses, perpetuating the idea that the female body is for male consumption.

Additionally, receiving lingerie as a gift can be seen as anti-feminist because it reinforces the idea that the female body should conform to a particular standard of beauty. This harmful and unrealistic beauty standard can have a negative impact on a person's self-esteem and body image. 

The Reality of Lingerie as a Gift: Is it Really for You?

As a deeper dive into this gift, some argue that lingerie is not really a gift for the recipient, but for the gift-giver themselves. You feel you have to appear grateful for the gift, but are you really?

Women's lingerie is often suggested as a way to pleasure men. Valentine's Day underwear in particular have not traditionally been about making the receiver feel good, but rather about fulfilling a male fantasy. Thankfully, we are starting to see a shift in this messaging.

Put this to the test. Has your male partner ever bought you a gift from, or suggested you shop for your underwear at, Victoria Secret? The brand may not sell anything for those with male parters, and its rarely come up in conversation before. Yet they are so keen and focused on this brand. They probably can't even name you another underwear brand. It speaks so heavily, and successfully, to so many men.

Unfortunately, VS doesn't even carry many bra sizes. So the experience alone can make many feel incredibly inadequate when they don't achieve their unrealistic standards. Which we know is not the intended goal of the gift at all. So consider this carefully that you are making your partner feel the right way with your gift.

On the Flip Side: Can it be a Gift for Both of You?

Buying sexy lingerie for yourself can be seen as empowering, yet if bought for by your partner can feel somewhat self-serving. There is no reason why the gift cannot be beneficial for both parties. When putting more thought into what styles, colours and brands your partner actually enjoys wearing, including getting it in the rights size, then it can be lovingly enjoyed by the both of you.

Valentines day

Where are the Valentine's Day Gifts for Men?

Valentine's Day gifts for men are not as heavily advertised as gifts for women for several reasons. It should work both ways right? Firstly, the holiday has historically been marketed towards women, with the emphasis on men giving gifts to their partners. This has led to a focus on gifts for women, such as jewelry, chocolates, and lingerie, rather than gifts for men.

Another reason is that society has traditionally placed a greater emphasis on women's appearance and femininity, leading to a focus on gifts that play into these ideals, such as lingerie. The gift industry has also been traditionally geared towards women. Meaning that there may not be as much demand for gifts for men, leading to a lack of investment in marketing and advertising in this area. But, hello?! It's the 21st century. Women can and want buy gifts for their partners too.

Would you buy Valentine's Day lingerie for your partner? Do you feel they would appreciate it? or feel silly?

To Lingerie or Not to Lingerie: The Final Word on Valentine's Day Gifts

In conclusion, whether receiving lingerie on Valentine's Day is pro or anti-feminist is a complex issue with valid arguments on both sides. It can be a thoughtful gift if done for the right reasons and right planning behind it. Whether it's a gift from your partner or yourself. It ultimately comes down to individual preferences and the dynamics of each relationship. Open and honest communication is key to making sure any gifts exchanged are respectful and consensual. 

What are your thoughts on receiving lingerie for Valentine's Day? Have anything to add to the conversation? Share your opinions in the comments section below 👇

1 comment

I don’t think it’s such a bad idea to receive lingerie as a gift. As long as it is a good fitting lingerie, is V Day the only time I’d wear it? No, I’d wear it every time I’d like to appreciate myself and feel good about my body. Lingerie, essentially, i feel is for a woman. Otherwise, no single woman would own a nice piece of lingerie.
I, particularly, like to wear good underwear the day i feel low emotionally. For some reason, it lifts my mood and cheers me up. If a woman is in a relationship and the man brings sexy piece of clothing on the table, is my first thought thst i want to wear it to please him or is it to appreciate how good it looks in the packet and on myself. It’s the latter for me, and most women i feel.
Call it selfish, a good lingerie is like a good pair of shoes or dress. If it is as sexy as it is comfortable, I’d feel great wearing it till the time it wears out. If someone else likes it on me, it’s an added advantage :)


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